While I was in Bali recently I had another dream come true.
I learned to dive. It makes me laugh to think of it; me at nearly 50 becoming an extreme sportswoman (because it is pretty extreme) but this is what I've become.
I'd forgotten this dream partly because the waters round this country are hardly an encouraging temperature. In Bali they were a lovely warm 28 degrees.
In one of the exercises I did in the course I went to Bali for, I wrote down a list of things I wanted to do before I die. I rolled a dice for which one to take action on
and diving came up. Spurred on, I made enquiries and was told that since I had to learn from scratch it would not be practical to learn on my holiday.
I forgot about it again; but when we had about a week to go we decided to take it easy lying on a beach and stuck a pin in the map to decide where to go.
Little did we know that place is one of the best places to dive off Bali.
On the first evening we sat in a restaurant listening to the waves on the shore, with the smell of frangipani flowers all around us wondering what we would do for a week in such a small place. The beach though beautiful, was tiny and covered in small fishing boats.
One of the waiters came over and as Balinese often do, he struck up a conversation, asking us if we had come here to dive. Sadly, we replied that no we wouldn't be diving as we didn't know how. The waiter then told us, as Balinese often do, that he had family working in a nearby concern, in this case, a diving school.
He took us down there and we spoke to the very trustworthy-seeming instructor.
Stijn informed us that we could do a half day taster course, and if we liked it, do our PADI accredited Open Water Training in three or four days. Completing this would mean that we could dive anywhere in the world.
It sounded like an offer too good to refuse, so we signed up to the taster course and the following morning did a very brief bit of theory, a practice in the pool and some safety exercises before getting in a little boat and diving on a coral reef at Blue Lagoon.
While we'd been practicing in the pool my ears had hurt me as we went down under the water. Stijn had explain that this was because of the "equalising" and told me to blow into my nose frequently and before I had pain. I did as I was told, but it still hurt me. I was not put off though, partly because Stijn said this had happened to him on his first few dives, and he is now an instructor, diving almost daily.
Once I put my face into the water and started breathing using my regulator, however, I found I felt very calm. This is nothing like swimming on the surface.
In the boat to Blue Lagoon (5 minutes max) I began to feel seasick. This was not like my dream, but again, Stijn had said that once in the water you don't feel seasick, so I persevered.
Allowing myself to fall back into the water was another trial, but I managed it.
Now I was ready to go down into the lagoon and see the fish and coral.
Oh no; that was so for the others in my little group, the pressure hurt my ears so badly I had to keep coming up a little way for them to acclimatise before going back down again for about maybe 3 feet before having to come back up for one. This was laborious and I was feeling a bit panicky. At one point I had to go right back up to the surface to calm down. Another instructor came with me and just stayed with me while I got hold of myself.
I had a very strict talk to myself at this point. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I didn't want to miss it, everyone else was down on the bottom, for all I knew having a whale of a time.
I allowed myself to descend again slowly, with my instructor holding my hand making sure I really did go slowly enough.
This time I was successful. Once I had stopped giving myself a hard time, had decided what I really wanted, accepted that I was scared but was going to do this thing; I was able to calm myself and everything had been OK. My ears still kept hurting every time I went down a little further but I just blew my nose or wiggled my jaw and took it slowly and calmly.
I am so glad I persevered, it was all so beautiful, it really was like on the TV but so much more magical. The weightlessness of swimming underwater is something I had never experienced and was an absolute joy. Being in another world was completely wonderful and the sight of the coral and the fish was just fantastic. I was instantly hooked.
There's something about the focus and concentration, breathing calmly as you have to; that makes the experience quite like meditation, but so exciting. Water kept leaking into my face mask I was smiling so much!
It really is indescribably wonderful and I will definitely be doing more.
We signed up for the full course and had a day in the classroom, a day in the pool and an exam before we went on a further dive in Blue Lagoon, this time in a boat with a smaller engine which did not actually make us sick (yes, I was sick on the way back too the first time, probably from the engine fumes from the boat). Again it was fantastic.
For our final and deeper two dives, becasue of my seasickness we and some more experienced divers all got in the minibus and went up the coast to Tulamben to dive on a wreck which had rolled into the sea when the volcano Gunung Agung 
last erupted in the 60's.
On the way we had some beautiful views of the volcano, then the minibus dropped us off in a small car park from which we walked through the trees to the beach.
The beach was narrow and of large black volcanic boulders. We struggled down it in all our heavy gear and were glad to relax into the water. As usual, I had to take more time to get down to the required depth.
We had some tests to do as the final part of our training, hovering in the water and finding our way by compass, the one none of us wanted to do was removing our masks underwater. This is neccessary because masks often fog up and it's the best way to clear them. The salty water stings, but the worry and fear of this exercise was far worse than the reality.
The dive, once we got onto it was fantatic. Again I was totally enchanted by the feeling of swimming underwater. The corals were beautiful and in good condition (although all corals are suffering from being touched by humans, pollution and the changes in water temperature caused by global warming) and there were so many fish. It really was one of the best experiences I've ever had and one I will definitely repeat.
Diving has changed me. Each time I went down I felt scared but I was able to overcome that. Confronting my fears in this way has given me an entirely different perspective on myself. It's only now, almost a month later that I'm beginning to realise just how far reaching these changes will be; as an extreme sportswoman I can no longer give myself excuses and I no longer want to. I found just how good the rewards can be for making my mind up and doing the thing I really want to do. I'm finding that whenever I feel down or overwhelmed I'm naturally reconnecting to those wonderful memories and can easily re-immerse myself in the fantastic feelings of overcoming the fear, going with the adrenalin and having some of the most amazing and magical experiences of my life!
I reckon that at nearly 50 it's probably about time.
Telling my older sister about it, I burst into tears of joy at the memory. She's going to come with me next year and learn too. It's something we will share and which can bring us even closer. I can't wait to introduce her to this beautiful and pure emotion.
So again, Hattie, thank you for the trip and thank you to Stijn for being such a trustworthy and patient teacher. Do you realise you change people's lives completely?
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