Mica May

Calm Kids for Christmas

Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and celebration, even if we only see it as a break from the usual but in reality a difficult time for all of us.
Everyone has such high expectations, how can it ever possibly match them?

It's stressful for our children too. They may not have the responsibilities adults have but they certainly pick up stress the adults around them are feeling. 

They get hauled around crowded shopping centres (no wonder they ask for things), their meal times get disrupted and probably they end up eating unusual and often unhealthy food, and they get all hot and bothered. 

Their parents are busier and more distracted than ever and seem to have almost no time for them.There is the visiting and the visitors and having to behave well among strangers, which also unsettles the meal routine, bed times are all over the place and of course, there is the daily cranking up of excitement due to the expectation of presents and all their dreams to come true on one day.

Small wonder we get tears and tantrums.

My downloadable tips (scroll to the bottom) will help you through but immediately you can take a breath. We all rush around so much,and even more so at Christmas, that we forget to breathe. Breathe and remember the good things about the Christmas holiday season.

Most things can wait a few seconds. So next time you find yourself breathing in hard to yell or sigh, unless your child is in danger, take that breath in fully and then let it right back out again.

Recognise that this is what keeps you alive and allow yourself a moment of stillness, of not rushing. Be grateful for the good things that you have, we spend so much time focussing on what needs to be improved that we can forget how much we've actually done.

It's almost the end of the year, recognise what you have achieved. Allow yourself to come to a place of calmness and gratitude for your achievements before responding to the next thing.

Your children will notice the difference, and rather than feeding off your increased stress they will pick up a new, calmer you.

As a special Christmas gift I can offer you my Calm Kids at Christmas downloadable guide Absolutely FREE Let me help you to avoid the pitfalls, be prepared and enjoy your Christmas.

Email me at the contact address above and I will ensure you do.

Have a calm and happy Christmas

The Importance of Conversation

When I was a child in the sixties I had two parents and so did all my friends.
My parents, especially my dad were much older than all my friends parents and I had step-brothers and a step-sister who were the same age as many of my friends mums and dads. My  actual, big sister was glamorous and grown up with her winkle-picker shoes, beehive hairdo and boyfriends.
This made me different, not very, but definitely different.

What a summer it's been!

Wow, has my summer been busy?
There have been so many changes and new beginnings; rolling with the punches and coming up smiling. It has taken me a while to catch my breath.
And suddenly here we are in October.
I don't know how that happened
Is it like this for you sometimes?

Manifesto of Insignificance

Rather than this bringing me down, I find Michael Bungay Stanier's Manifesto of Insignificance very freeing.

                                 

Knowing that my death is certain and my                                     time of death is uncertain

                                 

Knowing that the work I do matters and also                                     will not last

                                 

                                    

I'll strive to do Great Work

                                    

I won't take things too seriously

                                    

I'll strive to create things of beauty

                                    

I'll enjoy today.

                                    

I'll love the people in my life

Doing everything we can, to the best of our ability, in good faith but unattached to the outcome; are some of the things that matter most.

                                 

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!

While I was in Bali recently I had another dream come true.
I learned to dive. It makes me laugh to think of it; me at nearly 50 becoming an extreme sportswoman (because it is pretty extreme) but this is what I've become.
I'd forgotten this dream partly because the waters round this country are hardly an encouraging temperature. In Bali they were a lovely warm 28 degrees.

In one of the exercises I did in the course I went to Bali for, I wrote down a list of things I wanted to do before I die. I rolled a dice for which one to take action on

Gratitude

I have just come back from Bali.
I cannot begin to describe how grateful I feel for the opportunity to travel somewhere I've wanted to go to since I was a little girl.
As a child I may have done some kind of a project at school where we saw pictures of Bali, or maybe it was as a result of my mother's love for the film South Pacific;

The Magic of Play

It's a long time since I wrote about Play.
I've let my eye come off the ball and been distracted by the distress families get into and been doing most of my work around that; Parenting Skills really, the same as lots of other people.
I recognise that this is very important, but it's not my speciality; not my passion.
Play is my passion, in all it's forms.
It has the ability to transform lives in absolutely magical ways and it's what I should be doing.
I thought the grey pall which had descended over my life was because of the grey winter light, but actually

It's Spring

Evidently I've been allowing myself to be affected by the weather because I haven't written anything in my blog since January.
There are now daffodils and irises out though, so I am declaring Spring! In a couple of weeks it will be the Equinox, after that the days will be longer than the nights and things will really start hotting up.
In my daily dog walks, which are also a wonderful opportunity for me to be grateful for everyhting that is good in my life, I noticed this morning just what a lush profusion the wild garlic is, and the bluebells are starting to push up their flower shoots.

How I do love the bluebells, their intense blue is really amazing and truly brings us into real spring.
This seasonal thing brings me such joy and has done all my life.
Children, kept safe and warm indoors as they are, seem totally unaware of all this. it makes me so sad for them. Throughout my childhood I carried home armfuls of pussy willows and catkins to my mom to welcome the changing phase of the year.
This year for the first time, there is even frog spawn in my pond.

It is a constant challenge to us how to give our children these experiences that once we were able to take for granted.

How will you get your kids out into the countryside this weekend?

Memories and The Future

My partner and I were driving along today when my partner remarked that the man in the car we had just passed looked like one of the men in the 118 118 advert. I hadn't noticed this at the time, but I ran back the video in my mind and noticed that, sure enough, he had.
This struck me as a marvellous thing.
I hadn't noticed the man at all, but when asked to recall him, I could.

Something I hadn't remembered had lodged in my mind  and being asked about it immediately, I was able to bring it into my conscious awareness.

Research shows that in reality though, after a period of time our memories aren't actually reliable or accurate at all.
Our brains can't hold all of our memories complete, there would simply be too much information

Extended Families

My work brings me into constant contact with families going through changes.
Change is always something we need time to adjust to and that adjustment can be especially difficult when the changes are big or aren't one's we've chosen ourselves.
This is often the case for the families I encounter. Someone may be ill or have left the family unit and sometimes new people are joining the family.
Children are often stronly affected by changes like these because they feel especially powerless.